Do you wish you read your Bible more? Prayed more? Made time for all the things a “good Christian” would do?
If you’ve been there before, welcome! This post is written with you in mind.
This post is all about how to start any new habit and succeed. Let’s dive in!
Do you need a resource to use to teach your kids the Bible? Download the NEW Attributes of God 30-Day Family Devotional!
How to Start a New Habit and Succeed: 4 Simple Steps to Habits that Stick
You might be wondering why I’ve created an entire post on habits, and if you are I really wouldn’t blame you.
We often separate habits and habit formation into a completely separate category than spiritual disciplines like regularly reading our Bibles, having a deep prayer life, talking about faith with our kids, teaching our kids the Bible, and being able to have spiritual conversations with other people.
Habits feel dry. Habits feel robotic. We don’t want our faith in Jesus and the way we go about following Him to feel dry or robotic or like it’s all devoid of feeling. It feels a little insincere for our spiritual lives to run on autopilot.
But habits are the main driving force behind our entire lives. Habits, once established, DO run on autopilot.
For good or bad, our habits determine what we do, and what we do determines the results we get.
So if we want to improve our spiritual lives, then we need to take a look at the habits we currently have that relate to whatever spiritual thing we are wanting to be better at.
People who read their Bibles every day are people who are in the habit of reading their Bibles every day. Yes, they probably do have spontaneous times when they open their Bibles and look for something, but that’s in addition to their regular habit of opening the Word in whatever way they usually do.
People who have a deep prayer life are in the habit of praying deeply. They also likely have a process for how they choose what to pray for. Do those people also pray spontaneously? Yes, absolutely. But they are more likely to pray spontaneously about things as they come up because they already have a habit of praying regularly and consistently.
People who talk about faith with their kids or teach their kids the Bible are in the habit of doing so. They don’t always wake up ready and willing to initiate conversations with their kids about the Bible. But they do it anyway, because it’s their habit to do so. They probably have a regular time or circumstance where those conversations happen, and that’s just what they do at that time.
Every one of these instances can be boiled down to the habits we have.
So while the topic of “how to start a new habit and succeed” might feel a little out of place in this space, it’s actually not. And that’s what we are going to talk about today.
Everything I’m talking about here would also apply to non-spiritual habits, but for the purposes of this podcast I’ll keep using spiritual examples.
If you’re in a spot where you regularly feel like you should be doing better in some area of your spiritual life, then you need to pay attention to your habits. You might need to start a new habit.
And there is a LOT of information out there about habits. What they are, how to establish them in your life, it goes on and on.
I talk about habits a lot, but I am not a person who establishes habits easily. I can identify an area of my life I want to improve. I can even point out what new habits would probably make things better.
But actually doing it? Actually making a change stick? Actually starting a new habit and succeeding?
That’s never been my strong suit.
And you would think it would be, because I have read so many books about habits. I’ve watched all the YouTube videos. I’ve followed all the habit people on social media.
And it wasn’t until I read one book that I understood why it was all so hard for me.
I’ll go ahead and tell you what book it is so if you want to get it you can. I’ll also put the info into the show notes for you.
The book is “Better than Before” by Gretchin Rubin. It’s not a Christian book, it’s just a book about habits.
Here’s the secret that I was missing when I was trying to start new habits and not succeeding: Successfully starting a new habit has everything to do with how you go about trying to establish that habit, and how you go about starting a new habit has to work for your unique personality.
Let me say that again so you can take it in.
Being successful in adding a new habit to your life has everything to do with how you go about trying to add that new habit in.
And how you go about adding that new habit into your life has to work for your unique personality.
You might be able to use someone else’s foolproof method for starting a new habit. But you might not be able to. And it’s not because you’re a fool or you’re not doing something right.
It’s because you are uniquely you … and what motivates you to actually get something done is different than what motivates that person who is teaching whatever method they’re teaching.
You need to have a measure of self-awareness when it comes to establishing a new habit in your life.
You need to know what motivates you and what is likely to work for you. That way you filter new ideas about habit formation into “yeah, that might work” or “nope, that’s a waste of time.”
I don’t say that to give you a pass on starting new habits. I say that to give you permission to go about things in a way that is most likely to succeed for you.
So how can you go about learning what motivates you?
You could read the book I suggested, and that’s going to walk you through a really detailed explanation, but I can give you one simple thing to think through today that will help you right away.
Here’s what you need to think about: What’s worked in the past?
It seems so simple, but this is a game changer.
When has there been a time when you succeeded at starting something new, adding something new into your schedule, etc.?
What did you do then that worked?
If you can’t think of a time when you did start a new habit successfully, then flip it around. What have you tried before that just didn’t work?
There are some really common habit formation tips you’ll see floating around online.
You only need the ones that are actually going to work for you. Let me give you some examples of this in action so you can see if any sound like you.
Are you a person who has had great success when you took on a new habit alongside someone else? Then you likely just need to build some accountability into the plan for adding new spiritual habits. Ask a friend to be your accountability partner in it, and both of you just check in with each other every day. Text your friend when you finish reading your Bible and tell them what you read. Agree on a rotation of topics to pray about each day and text your friend when you finish your prayer time for the day.
If you are someone who needs outside accountability to make a habit stick, then it doesn’t matter how many habit trackers you download and try to use … you don’t need a tracker, you need a buddy.
But if you’re a person who has tried starting new habits with a buddy and it’s NEVER worked … well then that might not be a great first step in the plan.
Are you a person who has really struggled with seeing the point of embracing a new habit, even though everyone else says you should be doing that thing? You might be someone who needs to really understand the “why” behind a habit before your mind really gets on board with making you do things. If that sounds like you, then think about the habit you’re considering taking on and go ahead and do a deep dive on the pros and cons of having that as a habit. What will establishing this habit really accomplish for you? What advantages will you have if you can establish this habit? For some people, knowing the “why” is all it takes. So if you’re wanting to have spiritual conversations with your kids but that’s just not a usual topic for you guys, think about the benefits of talking about God with your kids. List them out, do some research, figure out for yourself if it’s important to do this or not.
If this is how your brain works, having to text a friend every time you do something isn’t going to be motivating. You need to do the work on convincing yourself of the “why” behind the habit.
But if knowing all the reasons, listing them out, and dwelling on them only brings you guilt, and that guilt then stops you from doing anything … then maybe that’s an unnecessary step for you and you’d be better served approaching the new habit differently.
Are you a person who needs to see something in order to take action on it? Don’t hide your Bible in a drawer, then. Put it on top of the coffee pot or at the kitchen table where you’ll see it. Will it contribute to clutter? Yes. But will you be more likely to read it because you see it? Also yes. Same goes for prayer lists or a devotional you want to use with your kids. Don’t put the Bible storybooks on the bookshelf. Put them right where you will be doing bedtime stories. Make it easy to see that this is a book you’re going to read so you don’t forget.
See what I mean about asking yourself what has worked and not worked in the past? Be really honest with yourself about this, and you’ll start to see patterns in your life where you did certain things and had success or where you did other things and just didn’t have success. Use that information to make a new plan, even if that’s not the plan you think someone else would say is right.
Alright, so once you’ve thought about what has worked in the past and what hasn’t, all you need to do is make a plan based on that.
Then you’re going to try that plan for a period of time. Maybe two weeks or so. And then you’re just going to ask yourself how it’s going and answer honestly.
If you’ve made progress, awesome. Keep going! Make any minor adjustments you think would help you out, but otherwise push ahead. You’re doing it!
If you haven’t made progress, then it’s time to pivot.
We like to pretend that we are some ideal version of ourselves when it comes to habits. We want to be people who can just desire a change and then make that change happen. And if we make a plan based around a version of ourselves that isn’t real, then we won’t see progress.
So make a new plan. This time, make it one that focuses on who you actually are and what you’re actually likely to do. It’s better to pivot and change course now than to continue trying and failing and trying and failing and then just giving up.
Alright so I’m going to run down the bullet points again for you.
Here’s how to start a new habit and succeed:
- Think about what has worked in the past for you and what hasn’t.
- Make a plan based on that information.
- Do the plan and assess it after a while to see how it’s working.
- Make changes as necessary.
That’s an oversimplification of this process, I know. What I’m suggesting is actually harder than listening to someone else’s idea of habit formation and just trying their method. But ultimately this is the way you’re going to have more success in starting new habits.
And I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t remind you here that some progress is better than no progress. So even if your new habit is a struggle, it still counts as progress if you’ve done it at all. You won’t become a totally new person in a day, so you can cut yourself some slack and continue working the plan even if things are going perfectly every single day.
This is something I talked about more in 4 Simple Steps to Start Reading Your Bible Every Day. If that’s a habit you want to establish in your life, that’s a blog post you can go back and read. In that post, I address some mindset shifts that are really helpful when you’re trying to start a new habit.
Take action to start a new habit and succeed
As always, we’re going to end with an action step you can take today to get started on successfully establishing a new spiritual habit.
Today’s action step is to name one – just one, guys – one habit that you want to start.
- Find me on Instagram – I’m @faithtalksdaily
- Send me a DM to tell me what habit you want to start.
I would love to cheer you on!
Quick Links
Connect with Faith Talks Daily
- 30% off the Attributes of God 30-Day Family Devotional: www.faithtalksdaily.com/attributes-of-god
- For the free Quick Start Guide to Family Bible Time: www.faithtalksdaily.com
- www.instagram.com/faithtalksdaily
- www.facebook.com/faithtalksdaily
Additional Resources & Links
- Better Than Before (The version I read linked here: https://a.co/d/1GoZRtE, but there seems to be a newer version, linked here: https://a.co/d/fvV4BeT)
- 4 Simple Steps to Start Reading the Bible Every Day: https://faithtalksdaily.com/4-simple-steps-to-start-reading-the-bible-every-day/
Do you need a resource to use to teach your kids the Bible? Download the NEW Attributes of God 30-Day Family Devotional!